Why Why Why?

People have been asking me today, why are you writing a blog Matt? Whats the blog about Matt? How did you get such great glutes Matt, for all you un-educated people out there the glutes is the flash term for the arse. Right maybe not the last comment, although I do like to think I have some mighty fine buttocks, but anyway some people have asked me why am I writing this. No it's not because im sad, no it's not because I have no friends, I actually have quite a decent social network just in case you were wondering, yeah because you know you were. Why not write one, maybe my brother got me on to the idea by starting his blog, but maybe I just wanted to write things down all the time. Lets call it therapy.
You dont get people writing into points of view asking why no one in Eastenders owns a washing machine or why everyone is drinking in the queen vic when they should be doing some sodding bastard work. I'm enjoying writing this blog, if you like reading it then cool, if you dont want to read it then watch Eastenders.
So time for some Matt Casson wisdom on how to survive and remember these 7 deadly sins.

1. Never refer to your wife's breasts as baps, jugs or norks and never use military terms such as bazookas or rockets.

2. Women can think , talk and breath at the same time, if she isn't talking it doesn't mean she is thinking, it means she is pissed off.

3. If she tells you "I've never met anyone like" it's not necessarily a compliment.

4. When she says "I love a man with a sense of humour", she doesn't necessarily mean you.

5. She will always assume you are a bigger pervert than you actually are.

6. Never answers questions with a grunt, men know grunt means "be quiet i'm trying to watch the game". Women can speak grunt and are very fluent in pout and sigh.

7. Always remember these rules are not fair and she can change them without notice.

I do hope these have helped my fellow man, and I do hope that tomorrow at work I do not come face to face with one of those women , liberal type pickets.
Stay classy ladies
Matt.
Stay safe men
Big guns Cass.